excerpt from journal
Jeremiah 29:10-14, MSG
“I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”
Purpose: To bring Him glory, and live fully.
Dreams: Discover what I love, do what I love.
Be missional, serve Christ, appreciate beauty, culture, the arts.
Now: I’m planting a church. Living in community, living in the city.
What excites me: Traveling, reading, learning, boarding, creating & designing, meeting new people
Do my actions line up with my intentions?
i mean, seriously.
halfway, this life
commitments to be made
people to please
it is like a game
of jeapordy
dependency- i understand
how we are all connected here
like notes in a melody
but it hurts to need
and it hurts to be needed
and i want more than anything
to do it alone
Lord, I lay my idols before you.
my empty promises fall flat
i can’t do it here alone
i can’t please everyone
You will take care of me.
It will be okay.
lovely.
I went to the Coldplay concert last weekend at the Gorge, and Chris Martin made me cry a little bit while he tapped the keys and sang to this song.
It’s good to be alive.
compulsory – a poem
this is not compulsory
i am trying to share with you
our hopes have never been this hard
but we are moving in time
in time, echoing souls
bleeding and bursting into something new
canvas painted blue
conversations that don’t resolve
i am hurting, but hurting heals
and broken cisterns let water out
let water out to heal
love is not compulsory – it is composed
tiny fragments, thoughts painted into life
canvases of confession
Honesty, you are the red in a world of black & white
i am sorry
if i’ve hurt you
i am sorry
that i cannot make it go away
we are in this together
summer nights, sundresses, and laughter
we’ll find it all again.
paintings
Can art be an instrument of peace, a voice to speak truth, a way to say, “Hey. Jesus loves you and I want to help you visualize that…?” I want to do this more. It’s how I come alive.
tonight
a church along aurora has a wonderful ministry that I’ve been taking part in. we go to some of the motels and deliver warm meals to the residents there. as a leader within epic life church, i have prayed and discussed with others the need for our citywide Body of Christ to work together and reach a community that often is overlooked.
what i have noticed in the last several months is a clear awareness of the reality of God among the residents in these motels. strange, i make alot of assumptions, and it seems that each one fails me. tonight, i met two wonderful people- one in particular who really touched me. she was like a book, and she opened herself up and was vulnerable with me. she has been in and out of treatment, addictions- has moved from one place to another, has lost dearly loved ones, has suffered from intense illness, and has come out somehow admirably strong and hopeful. i admire her.
the funny thing is, given another circumstance- on the bus for instance- i would have easily passed her up in my haste to get to the next commitment. missing her front left teeth, so a broken smile- dark eyes, long black hair, 50-something. but compassion allows you to see the beauty in someone despite their appearances. amazing how that happens.
and she was beautiful.
she let me pray for her, and we prayed about housing and health and setting an example to her children. we prayed about hope and perseverance. we prayed for freedom from the bonds of addiction and all of its broken promises. substances never hold up their end of the deal- they are temporary, at best.
she spoke to me about a hope trudging on through a broken situation- how joyful she was to have “this beautiful room in the best corner of the motel in a great location!” i was humbled. and she had a van. she praised the Lord for her van and for that motel room she shared with her son, his girlfriend, and their two children. she praised the Lord because she was still alive and getting surgery on her colon soon. she celebrated the things that i would complain about. thank you, sweet reality check. seems the Lord reveals the worst and best in us, doesn’t He?
The Right Stuff!
This weekend, the church plant leadership team went on a retreat. We got on a ferry and crossed the Sound- spent the weekend away from the busy streets of Seattle. I believe the Lord used this weekend to encourage and challenge us all in different ways, and I can sense His work in our team.
Corporate worship was encouraging today. We pray each Sunday as a group, whoever wants to come and pray- and lift up personal needs, ministry needs, spiritual needs, our hopes as a Body, and our neighborhoods and communities. I think we are catching on to the beauty and reality of prayer. It was a time of just honestly coming before the Lord in humility and seeking His face together, about 20 of us gathered in a circle.
I gotta give some love to David. Dave, if you read this- I want you to know that the music that your band is playing up there sounds stronger and more powerful than I ever would have conceived back in Winona. I mean, seriously. There is some passion and hope in those words and in those instruments like I haven’t heard since…well…ever. I just pray that the Lord would continue to pour out His wisdom and leadership on the music ministry and all that it entails- on David as he leads; Chuck, Maurice, Matthew, Aaron, Josh, and anyone else who was and is and will be involved in it. I am so thankful for the way music is used to touch and to heal hearts and broken spirits.
A South Korean couple came in through the back doors to corporate worship, they were visiting Seattle for a short time, and through the little I could make out from the communication gap, I discovered that he was is a pastor there. I was so encouraged by his enthusiasm for our mission. He was smiling from ear to ear the whole time, clapping and taking pictures, and his wife was there next to him, with her Korean/English translation Bible, looking up everything, listening intently, engaging. I was just so encouraged. How does a random couple on a vacation to the US from South Korea even hear about little ELC? I guess I will never know unless God allows us to meet again.
The House Church ministry is moving towards a shift- a purposeful shift. Right now, we have four house churches meeting throughout North Seattle. One is all guys, one all girls, one with families, and another just begun. We are going to take a step back and move to three. We are going to take all of the people involved and do a big blender experiment. The goal of a house church is really to be a mini-model of the Body of Christ- that means men and women, old and young, families and singles working together in an intimate group. I am excited and expectant. Not sure what it all will look like, but we are praying for eight house churches throughout Seattle by August 8th!
The House Churches, as well as youth and children’s ministries, area all operating on a ‘life cycle’:
Serve, Study, Play, Study. This has been effective because it has provided an opportunity to fellowship and grow together without feeling the pressure of having to answer all of the right questions- not just a Bible Study, but a life-together journey through our neighborhoods and with our immediate communities. Please pray for these groups.
Lots of exciting things to share, but I must go to sleep.
Pray for our brothers Josh, Brent, and Charlie…they have been an encouraging, strong, and faithful support in the work of Epic Life. They’re all three in the NAVY and are being deployed shortly. We’ll miss them!
