Good morning!
I’m awake and ready for another day in Seattle. September is closing in fast (ahhh!) and the team is getting more and more excited for what the Lord has here in this rainy city.
On Saturday, our group went on the ‘Underground Tour’ of Seattle. It was so interesting to learn about the city’s beginnings and all of the dirt and scandal that it began with. In 1889, there was a fire that destroyed nearly all of the city’s infrastructure (which was actually a good thing because it was originally so poorly built), but even after beginning to rebuild, the city’s economy was so corrupt that 85% of the economy was built on brothel taxes.
The things I learned really helped to explain some things to me about the city- generational struggles as a people. It’s beginnings were nothing to be proud of. At all. It explains why there are so many strip clubs, why prostitution actually exists here, why the homeless have been homeless for so long, and why so many of the poor here are men. It was very interesting.
Please pray for Casey and Jeff- they both start jobs today! Casey is working at a chiropractic office, and Jeff got a job as a cook for an assisted living complex. They are both excited, and a little nervous, of course. I have an interview on Wednesday for a nonprofit position that could be a great job. Pray for God’s will!
I am so pumped about the church plant. We’ve been meeting and talking about some exciting and difficult things. It is such an honor to be here in Seattle doing this. We miss you all and really, really appreciate your prayers.
Friends…
Well, thus begins another week of looking for jobs and waiting… yesterday, we had our first real ‘church service’ since we’ve been in the city, and it was wonderful. we are growing so much as a team, being tested and stretched together and as individuals. averi came into town on friday, and she has already blessed me so much as a roommate. we have had some really good late night conversations, and she is just so full of wisdom! i didn’t realize how much i miss that girl. she has spoken (or listened and allowed me to speak into) some things that were buried pretty deep in me, and that has helped me release them.
i am learning the balance of trusting everything and testing everything. i have developed a pretty cynical mind over the last few years, and God is definitely working on that. teaching me who i am and what true theology is and what it should be. i have already come face to face with a culture that is very different from the one i’ve grown up in- and i know that my response is important.
i am in a coffee shop in the pike’s place market called local color, filling out some more apps, trying to get some things done. we’ll see how it all goes. please pray for us. love, me.
green leaves and wicker chairs
there are so many people in this city. i feel like i’m just one tiny speck in a sea of faces and opportunities. my prayer has been a question, “God- what would you have me do here?” My purpose here? I am discovering that everything worth anything takes time, effort, and consistent devotion.
i was reading from ephesians this morning, and chapter three ends with a simple prayer for strength:
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith- that you, being rooted and established in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that suprasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according ot the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
CONGRATULATIONS BRANDON & CARISSA! We love you so much!
saint augustine
Too late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient, O Beauty so new. Too late have I loved you! You were within me but I was outside myself, and there I sought you! In my weakness I ran after the beauty of the things you have made. You were with me, and I was not with you.
The things you have made kept me from you – the things which would have no being unless they existed in you! You have called, you have cried, and you have pierced my deafness. You have radiated forth, you have shined out brightly, and you have dispelled my blindness. You have sent forth your fragrance, and I have breathed it in, and I long for you. I have tasted you, and I hunger and thirst for you. You have touched me, and I ardently desire your peace.
-a prayer from saint augustine
waiting for my real life to begin.
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
I’ll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don’t you understand
I already have a plan
I’m waiting for my real life to begin
When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I’m waiting for my real life to begin
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I’ll check my machine, there’s sure to be that call
It’s gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It’s just that times are lean
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don’t you understand
I already have a plan
I’m waiting for my real life to begin
‘In limbo’-as Kari and Jeff call it. This season of expectation and alot of hope for what could be. There’s so much to think about, to ‘plan’ out- but I am quickly coming to find that life doesn’t quite work that way. It’s not so simple, but yet, not so hard either. Just one step after another forward in some direction.
I was reading Psalm 145 this morning and just thinking about God’s goodness in all of this. He is so good, so faithful- so unpredictable, yet completely trustworthy. I love that about him.
This is all so completely nuts- to live this way, to live out of a suitcase like this. Praise God that we’re all completely crazy. It just works. Haha.
me and sufjan
i find it completely ironic that i was just listening to sufjan stevens this morning to save my life and here i come, into the green bean coffee shop and chicago is filling my ears from the stereo.
he is really helping me along to find the beauty and art in all of this. when i got on the bus this morning i was just looking around me: graffiti covering the cement building on the other side of the street. on the bus, a woman who was obviously exasperated comes on thoroughly thanking the bus driver for waiting, a day care filled with twelve kids in orange shirts come through, a small latino woman on her phone, speaking beautiful words with a soft voice, the sound of the whirring bus motor, the colors of seattle gardens- trees pushing through cracks in pavement and flowers bursting out of windows and patio doors.
i was talking to casey last night before her interview with spu about the word ‘hope.’ what does it really mean to hope? because tainted hope can easily become worry or fear, tainted hope isn’t really hope at all. it’s this expectation that it’s all going to work out, that we’re all going to be more than okay in the end. we are all hoping for big things to happen. we are all hoping for God to pull us under His wing and take care of us. we are all trying not to taint hope.
this morning i woke up from a strange dream- a mixture of frustration from things that i don’t have, spinning with the hope of what my life could be. i have the book martin luther king wrote before he died- all about hope. hope that his children would be able to live free, hope that the future would be different, hope that he could just make a little mark on the world.
as i was on the bus this morning, i looked around me and thought about how boring the world would be were we all one color- there would be no new beauty, no culture to experience, we would all be what we expect, there would be nothing to stretch us, nothing to teach us… i am so thankful for diversity. i am thankful for the way God chose to make us humans.
so, i’ll bless you with a poetic piece from sufjan:
I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I’m the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there’s anything to say, if there’s anything to do,
If there’s any other way, I’ll do anything for you.
I was dressed embarrassment.
I was dressed in wine.
If you had a part of me, will you take your time?
Even if I come back, even if I die
Is there some idea to replace my life?
Like a father to impress;
Like a mother’s mourning dress,
If you ever make a mess, I’ll do anything for you
I have called you preacher; I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven’t one,
I’ll do anything for you. I did everything for you
[ For The Widows In Paradise; For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti]
