Approval Addiction
“Any of us who intend to do very much in life will have to accept the fact that there will be times when we will not receive approval from everyone.” Joyce Meyer
$5 In Faith
Hi. I don’t know if anyone actually reads this blog, but I am writing anyway, I guess. Here are my thoughts for the New Year…
There are two kinds of pain in life: The pain of never changing, or the pain of changing.
This Sunday morning, Keith put a $5 bill in each of our journals, and ask that we pray over this $5 bill, and ask God what He might have us each do with it. This was a faith opportunity for each individual involved, as well as our church body as a whole. I know that $5 isn’t alot of money – we all know that – but this sort of faith challenge creates an opportunity for God to do the miraculous, uncanny, unexpected things that He so often wants to do through us.
I pulled the money out of my journal – half of me cynical about being a church that gives out money to its members, the other half of me wondering where this crinkled $5 bill would lead me.
Keith shared about a specific moment we all come to many times in life – he called it our ‘moment of impossibility’ – the moment in which nothing in our human capability can conquer a situation without God’s help. Keith shared about how we never stay at idle in this life; we are always moving forward or backward. In this moment of impossibility, we either move forward in faith, or backward in fear. I have seen this backward/forward tension in many situations this past year, 2009.
Coming into a New Year, God has put it on my heart to be done living moving backwards. It has become very clear to me where so many of my fears have been rooted, and I actually spent the time with a friend deliberately pointing those out and getting rid of them. The process I have been taken through even in the last several weeks is amazing to me. I don’t even know how God is doing it, but He is working.
He is saying very clearly, “Shelli, please believe that my opinion of you is the only thing that matters – and I believe in You.” I have found that He has seen me at my best and worst and views me the very same exact way in both situations- that He loves me the way I should love myself, and others around me. It’s like they say, ‘if we don’t love who we are, we will be incapable of loving others,’ and that’s a problem.
So back to my $5 bill story. I gave it away that same day. I was getting out of my car going into my apartment, and there were three thug boys standing by the door – I knew right away that I was supposed to give it to the tall one with the hat. I approached them and told them that my pastor had done this crazy thing, giving everyone at my church a $5 bill to use wherever we felt God was leading us to give it. There was a girl standing with them who said, “like the movie, Pay It Forward?”, and I said, “Yes, something like that.”
When I handed over the bill to him, I told him that this was his opportunity to do something better than what I’ve done with this $5 bill – to do something great with it.
I don’t know what happened with him, and I’m hoping maybe I will get to find out in the next few weeks. Regardless, I am starting 2010 moving forward in faith and that is a beautiful thing!
It’s CS Lewis’ birthday
“Now is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It won’t last forever. We must take it or leave it.”
One of my favorites.
Thank you CS Lewis, for being brilliant. Friends, if you have not yet read A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken, you are missing out on a treasure. You will see a side of Lewis that only deep friendship and loss could exhibit.
Christmas & Mother Teresa
I’ve spent the last week away from work on furlough. It has been a lovely ‘vacation,’ though it hasn’t felt the least bit successful. I had a list of about thirty projects that I had hoped to tackle over the week, and it seems I’ve managed to leave them all for another time. Strange how that happens.
I have been reading this book about Mother Teresa, it has all of her private writings and poems in it, and I think it has kept me sane the last few days. Hearing Mother talk about the ‘call’, the ask – “Will you not go?” over and over again, keeps me questioning my motives and movements.
To go means to risk, to trust, to believe that there will be a purpose behind an action. To go also means to sacrifice. To give out of my brokenness and hope that something beautiful can be made as a result. To go means to move despite the fear, in the midst of the fear – even with the fear, knowing that somehow it will be worth it.
I spoke with my mother this morning about our family’s decision not to do Christmas presents this year. Seems that in this season of giving, we have lost our sense of value with the need to go above and beyond each year with bigger and better gifts.
What if Christmas can be different this year? What if the Word comes alive in us and through us – bringing the Good News of salvation to all who hear? This is the gift of life – some God-child who has come into our cosmos, keeping our spirits eager, our hearts full, our ears drawn…
Call+Response Fair
On Mon, Nov 2, 2009 at 11:04 PM, Robert Garey <robertgarey@gmail.com> wrote:
Nearly a year ago, CALL+RESPONSE was viewed in theaters throughout the US and it stirred a national conversation about our responsibilities as a community to respond to the realities of human trafficking and modern day slavery. Locally, a growing abolitionist network in Seattle has been formalized as Seattle Against Slavery– a coalition of non-profit, governmental, and community organizations committed to seeing the abolition of slavery in Seattle.
What is YOUR response to CALL+RESPONSE?On Tuesday, November 24th, come discover how you can become involved in this growing movement at the CALL+RESPONSE Volunteer Fair, hosted by Seattle Against Slavery. Meet with local abolitionist organizations and learn how you can bring your unique abilities and talents to the fight to end slavery in our city.TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2009Network 6pm | Presentation + Fair: 6:30pm-8pmUNIVERSITY HEIGHTS CENTER | ROOM 1105031 University Way NE, Seattle 98105University DistrictFor more information, see the flyer attached and go to www.SeattleAgainstSlavery.org. Feel free to spread the word on this event to your community and contact us if you have any questions about this growing movement!For justice,
Idea Camp PNW
I am reposting this blog from Vin Thomas about his experience this weekend in Portland at ‘The Idea Camp.’ Averi and I joined in and were so encouraged and refreshed by the brilliant minds in the room with us. These are some quotes that Vin took note of:
“I wanted to share a few quotes/ideas that I took away from The Idea Camp. They are random and all over the place. I would like to give attribution where due, but some of these were just quick notes I wrote down when they struck me.
“It takes hard work to simplify an idea.” — Charles Lee
“We need to become better story tellers. Not to show off, but to celebrate what God has done.” — Charles Lee
“Heaven is the by-product of our faith. Not the goal.” — Charles Lee
“If your church shut down, would it be missed?”
“God often times won’t let a hurt go wasted. He wants to use that hurt to do something incredible.” — John Sowers
“If you don’t act on it, it’s not really true compassion.”
“Lots of us wait around for some kind of call. The need is the call. Just serve.” — Mike Rusch
“Free doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be cheap.” — Charles Lee
“Our generation is high on creativity, but low on perseverance.” — Eugene Cho
“You should be worried when people STOP copying your ideas.” — Charles Lee
The event was awesome and I look forward to seeing how The Idea Camp grows. I left feeling refreshed, inspired, and enabled. I am very glad to have gone.”
kseniya simonova: the power of art
I really enjoyed Eugene Cho’s blog about Ukranian artist Kseniya Simonova. I watched this YouTube video of her, and it is truly amazing.
He writes that ‘Kseniya Simonova is a Ukrainian artist who just won Ukraine’s version of “America’s Got Talent.” She uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination and “sand painting” skills to interpret Germany’s invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII.’
How intriguing. It really shows the way that creativity has the power to express meaning, doesn’t it? Take a look – what do you think?
some kind of poem
Holy, infinite God – I am full of hope, you bring this life and breath air into my lungs
I can feel the pull of Your presence luring me into a new reality
Your Kingdom, like a mustard seed, small and simple, developed and developing
Into something beautiful, something lush and living, something purposeful and strong
Come and be the light in us, fully alive on a hill for the world to see
Our love and compassion, filtered through the gracious eyes of Christ
Filling the corners of need and desire – Burning a fire through the barren fields
Of hate and confusion.
Your Spirit is the voice speaking out through the frailty of my chest
Your Spirit is composure in the midst of chaos and stress
Striving for perfection, completion – filling empty spaces with noise and decay
You silence us, force us to listen, lead us beside still waters, restore our souls
In the physical, the broken, the mundane, the complex – You respond to us
Jesus, Your love is the weight that broke our hearts – took us by surprise
Now we see a backwards King on his majestic throne
Captivate us, find us, deliver us, bring us back to You.
